One of Burns\u2019 lesser known poems (not!) \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n
TAE A FERT (Fart)<\/p>\n
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie<\/p>\n
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie<\/p>\n
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin<\/p>\n
There sterts to stir an enormous wind.<\/p>\n
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas<\/p>\n
Stert working like a gentle breeze<\/p>\n
But soon the puddin wi the saucie face<\/p>\n
Will have ye blawin all ower the place<\/p>\n
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae<\/p>\n
A\u2019bodys gonnae have tae pay<\/p>\n
Even if yae try to stifle,<\/p>\n
Its like a bullet oot a rifle.<\/p>\n
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair<\/p>\n
Tae try and stop the leakin air<\/p>\n
Shift yersel frae cheek tae cheek<\/p>\n
Prae tae god it disnae reek.<\/p>\n
But awe yer efforts go asunder<\/p>\n
Oot it comes like a clap oh thunder<\/p>\n
Ricochets around the room<\/p>\n
Michty me, a sonic boom<\/p>\n
God almighty it fairly reeks<\/p>\n
Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks<\/p>\n
Tae the bog I better scurry<\/p>\n
Aw whit the hell its no ma worry.<\/p>\n
Abody roon aboot me choking<\/p>\n
Wan or two are nearly bokin<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll feel better for a while<\/p>\n
Cannae help but raise a smile.<\/p>\n
Wiz him I shout with accusing glower,<\/p>\n
Alas too late , he\u2019s just keeled ower<\/p>\n
Ye dirty bugger they shout and start<\/p>\n
I dinnae feel welcome ony mair<\/p>\n
Where err ye go let yer wind gan free<\/p>\n
Sounds like just the job fur me<\/p>\n
Whit a fuss at Rabbies perty<\/p>\n
Ower the sake oh wan wee ferty.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One of Burns\u2019 lesser known poems (not!) \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 TAE A FERT (Fart) Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie Just as ye sit doon among yer kin There sterts to stir an enormous wind. The neeps and tatties and mushy peas Stert working like a gentle breeze But soon …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=353"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":354,"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353\/revisions\/354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=353"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=353"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.librairc.net\/scotland\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=353"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}